This is Why God Gave Me a Sense of Humor

Right now I am on a huge airplane, flying over Oklahoma. I know that because the plane I am on has wi-fi, and this cool little app shows me a picture of where the plane is located. I think that is so stinkin' awesome.

Also, amazing is the fact that I am currently blogging from above the clouds! That's a first for me.

I'm on my way home from a conference in Tampa. The conference was GREAT! It was a joint effort between three different schools and the Boys and Girls Club. I was presenting the classroom management strategies from Whole Brain Teaching to a group of PreK through 4th grade teachers. Josh Kelley, and all of the staff that I met from the club, are truly remarkable people. They seem to have an outstanding pre-K program, and I was very honored to be able to be there!! The teachers were also very inspiring...giving up a day of their own summer vacation to come to a conference. Thank you to all that came out!

As great as the conference itself was, the act of traveling to and from the conference has been in equal opposition. I'm calling this my Comedy of Errors trip, as it has been quite an adventure so far. So much so, that I felt the need to blog from the plane. :)

So...what could have possible happened, you ask? Well, let me tell you what I've leaned these past 48 hours in the hopes that you can avoid some of the mishaps that have happened to me along the way.

TIPS FOR TRAVELING
1. Before leaving for the airport, make sure the ID that you see in your wallet is ACTUALLY your drivers license and not your state ID card. This will allow you to actually be able to rent a car when you arrive at your destination.
2. Make sure you double check #1 before you get all the way through security at the airport.
3. If you fail to follow tips #1-2, and have to go all the way back out to your car in the parking garage, make sure you don't lock your keys in your car when you're done searching, in vain, for your license.
4. While on the plane, don't move your iPad around on the tray table in order to adjust your legs below. This will spill your entire drink on your lap and cause you to ride the rest of the way with very, very wet pants.
5. If, for some reason, you cannot follow any of the tips above, the plus side is that you will get to ride in a town car with a chauffeur. Remember to ask him to play "Fancy" to complete the experience.
6. On the return flight, do not have a connecting flight through Dallas. Nothing good ever happens there. Probably all of the residual anger in the air over the decision to revive the show "Dallas"after 100 years.
7. If you must travel through Dallas, go sit at your gate. Even if you have a two over layover and the flight is also delayed two additional hours. If you have to stop at bar to have a much needed cocktail, do so only at a bar right next the your gate. If you don't you will be forced to look at the departure screen, only to find that your previously delayed flight is now leaving on time.
8. If you don't heed tip #7 and think that you are now forced to run the mile to your gate on flip flops carrying a purse and pushing a large carry-on, stop. Take the time to stop and ask an actual person to check your flight schedule. You will probably find that the screen was incorrect, and your flight is in fact delayed.
9. If you are having a rough time following all of these tips, don't lose heart. You will be able to sit on a cold, dirty, stained floor, in the back section of the airport (where they put all of the cranky people whose flights have no chance of ever leaving) for hours, and reflect on all of your awesome travel experiences.
10. Purchase a travel battery for all mobile devices. It will turn the cold floor in the corner behind a bookshelf (the only place they seem to install working outlets) into a chair with some resemblance to a cushion.
11. When the plane finally start to board, do NOT get on it. You will only sit there for two more hours while the pilot drives around the airport, only to come back to the terminal because of mechanical issues, then be asked to get off the plane.
12. When the airline tells you they are trying to find you a new airplane and a new crew to get you home, don't listen. Instead, stand right in from of the ticket counter. That way, when they finally announce that the flight has been cancelled, you are first in line to get a hotel and meal voucher. Since it will be around 1am, this tip is crucial.
13. Don't forget to have a sense of humor. It's priceless.

I'm not home yet...still in the air...but hopefully my Comedy of a Errors has been completed, and there will be no encores for the performance. I'm currently flying over Illinois..I know that because I checked my handy little app. Feels good to be close to home. I'm ready to hug my babies and sleep for 10 hours. I still have a 2 hour drive home...but first I have to wait for AAA to unlock my car for me. :)

Happy travels!! :)